What We Do In The Shadows S5: A No-Nonsense Series Recap Before You Watch

If you haven't been watching "What We Do in the Shadows" throughout its first four seasons, you are completely missing out. Based on the 2014 film developed by and starring Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement, the FX original series kicked off in 2019 and set itself on glamorous, mysterious Staten Island, focusing on a new group of hapless vampires.

Nandor the Relentless (Kayvan Novak) is all bluster and very little action, despite being a once-fierce warrior. Laszlo Cravensworth (Matt Berry) is a constantly aroused dandy of sorts, paired with and married to the vampiress who turned him, Nadja of Antipaxos (Nastasia Demetriou), who's had larger-than-life flings throughout history and thinks the men in her house are all morons. Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch) might be the least flashy of the group, but he's an "energy vampire," which means he's basically that boring, droning person you get stuck talking to at a party. And finally, we've got Guillermo de la Cruz (Harvey Guillén), Nandor's familiar, who's desperate to become a vampire himself.

Throughout these four seasons, a fair amount has happened. The vampire family participates in a reality show, learns about classic American pastimes, accidentally and intentionally commits murder, and runs afoul of Mark Hamill. Whether it's been a while since you revisited "What We Do in the Shadows" or you haven't watched it at all, here's what you absolutely need to know going into Season 5 (you should really watch all of it, though).

Season 1 does a lot more than introduce the core gang of vampires who lightly, poorly terrorize Staten Island as soon as dusk falls — it also introduces everything from the vampires' traditional nemeses, werewolves, to an incredibly old vampire named Baron Afanas (Doug Jones). Speaking of that last one, the baron is what Season 1 largely centers around, considering that Nadja, Laszlo, and Nandor accidentally murder him after a raucous night, and he faces sunlight the morning after (the sunlight thing is really Guillermo's fault, but whatever). As they try to evade capture by the vampiric council, other supporting characters come into play, like Jenna (Beanie Feldstein), a college student turned by Nadja who has a lot of trouble controlling her powers, and nightlife vampire Simon the Devious (Nick Kroll).

Again, though, the big thing is the death of Baron Afanas, which ends up bringing Nadja, Nandor, and Laszlo in front of the council they've tried to avoid. The guest stars who appear on the council are numerous, including Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement as their original vampires from the movie and a ton of actors known for playing vampires, like Evan Rachel Wood, Tilda Swinton, Danny Trejo, and Wesley Snipes. The gang escapes thanks to Colin and Guillermo, but at the end of the season, things take yet another turn when Guillermo discovers he's a descendant of Van Helsing, the famed vampire hunter.

Remember how Guillermo realized he's a descendant of Van Helsing? Well, when Season 2 kicks off, he's been putting his bloodline to good use by murdering assassins sent in retribution by the Vampire Council, who is trying to bring Nadja, Nandor, and Laszlo to justice. A few other important things happen in Season 2: The gang attends a Super Bowl party and completely misunderstands the entire thing, Simon the Devious and Laszlo continue bickering over a hat made of witch skin that Nadja completely hates, and so on and so forth. The most important thing about Season 2, though, is Episode 6, "On the Run."

Confronted by Jim the Vampire (Mark Hamill), whom he once stiffed over a short-term rental, Laszlo goes rogue and heads to Pennsylvania (which sounds like Transylvania), adopting his alter ego of Jackie Daytona, a "regular human bartender." In the small town of Clairton, he ends up helping the local girls' volleyball team head to state championships and inspires everyone around him — but Nadja and the others miss him, and Jim comes sniffing around anyway (in one of the series' funniest moments to date, Jim does not recognize Laszlo thanks to just two things: blue jeans and a toothpick in the vampire's mouth. Laszlo even still has fangs). "On the Run" is, without question, one of the best episodes of "What We Do in the Shadows," so if you're only watching a few episodes of the season, make this one of them.

Oh, and in the season finale, Guillermo's side hustle of killing vampires is revealed, so that's pretty important.

At first, Nadja, Nandor, and Laszlo aren't exactly thrilled that the only human living in their house is a prolific vampire hunter — but when news comes to them that Guillermo has killed so many vampires in the larger New York area that they have to serve as heads of the Vampire Council, they don't seem to mind quite as much. Performing hypnosis (which doesn't work) on Guillermo and deciding that he'll simply be their bodyguard, the trio and also Colin Robinson start running the Council. It goes about as well as you'd expect, with the group destroying ancient artifacts and accidentally unleashing a violent creature upon New York that goes on a furious killing spree. Also, at some point during all of that, they party and gamble in Atlantic City and Nandor is thrown into an existential crisis over some slot machines themed after "The Big Bang Theory." Nandor also gets brainwashed later, but that resolves within one episode because this show is ridiculous and delightful.

The most important development in Season 3, though, involves Colin Robinson. In the penultimate episode, Nadja, Nandor, and Laszlo suddenly realize that Colin is turning 100 years old — the exact life span of an energy vampire. Trying to prove that he's just faking it, Nandor crushes Colin's skull, but it all turns out okay, kind of. After they spend almost zero time mourning their roommate, Nadja tells everyone that she's heading to London to head up the Supreme Vampire Council — but Laszlo doesn't go with her because he's busy taking care of the tiny version of Colin Robinson that emerges from the energy vampire's body.

A year passes between the end of Season 3 and the beginning of Season 4, and Laszlo definitely has his hands full with the utterly disturbing baby Colin Robinson (really just a baby who looks exactly like a fully grown, adult Mark Proksch). To help support her adopted sort-of son, Nadja and the Guide (Kristen Schaal), who's always kind of been on the periphery, open a vampire nightclub together, but they keep running into completely normal problems like "the blood sprinklers are clogged" or "the wraiths unionized" or "the vampire guests keep murdering celebrities like Sofia Coppola." When it's discovered that baby Colin's unsettling child Broadway act entertains vampires, though, he becomes a hit at the club thanks to his angelic voice ... but all that changes once he hits puberty and becomes an abject terror.

Amid that drama, Nandor is trying to make things work with Marwa (Parisa Fakhri), one of his 37 deceased wives whom a genie brought back to life for him, and Guillermo comes out (which is readily accepted by the vampires but causes a major interpersonal problem soon enough). After the gang is duped by Simon the Devious into thinking they're on a home improvement show called "Go Flip Yourself" (another series highlight), Guillermo has basically had enough, especially since Nandor essentially clones his first boyfriend, Freddie (Al Roberts), creating a baffling situation. As the series comes to a close, Guillermo takes his biggest step yet, going to another vampire in order to finally be turned.

So what's in store for "What We Do in the Shadows" Season 5? The series premiere has the vampires discovering the mall, which definitely sounds promising; they're also set to attend a Pride parade in the new season, and considering all the vampires are nothing if not sexually open, that'll certainly be ... interesting.

Based on the official trailer, a major plot point will be Guillermo learning how to be a vampire (though after 16 days, he can't even turn into a bat yet), while Colin Robinson, now fully grown back into his original form, is doing exactly what an energy vampire would do and running to be the city comptroller. Nadja seems to be trying to help her doll, which contains her ghost, find "romance," and Laszlo? Laszlo's probably still perfect.

The show has racked up critical acclaim and Emmy nominations its entire run — and it's already been renewed for another season — so fans can go in expecting that their favorite bizarre and exquisitely written vampire comedy will be back in full force. "What We Do in the Shadows" Season 5 premieres on July 13, and you can stream it on Hulu.