Five Nights At Freddy's 2 Should Be Rated-R (& Use This Game Storyline)

You'd think that a horror film adapted from an indie game series that centers on animatronic restaurant mascots possessed by the vengeful souls of murdered children would get fast-tracked to the silver screen. Instead, a live-action reimagining of "Five Nights at Freddy's" was locked in development hell for the last eight years. Maybe that "Chuck E. Cheese" hush money runs deep, maybe game creator Scott Cawthon insists on every adapted detail passing his approval, or maybe "FNAF" is just the most bonkers confusing story ever to grace a computer screen?

Probably the last one. Because now that the movie has finally happened, figuring out the inevitable sequel is a whole new can of worms. 

As of this writing, the game franchise has nine canonical installments, with four spin-off titles floating around in the ether. Release order aside, the correct chronology to play these games is dubious, at best, and plot information is hidden beneath vague environmental elements and scattered bits of dialogue. Converting that into a digestible, compelling, standalone film — much less a series– was never going to be a task for the faint of heart. 

Still, there's one thing that a "Five Nights at Freddy's 2" needs to fix that's already clear. The first movie, for all it gets right, is sterile and clean in a way that just doesn't match the rusted, bloody world of the "FNAF" games. The reason, once you dig a little deeper, is obvious: it's rated PG-13. 

Now, assuming "FNAF" rakes in enough cash to merit a sequel, then Blumhouse should allow it to be the R-rated nightmare fuel that it yearns to be. And we know the perfect game storyline for it to build a sequel upon.

In the first film, Blumhouse Productions cherry-picks plot points from across the entire franchise. Freddy Fazzbear's Pizza is shut down, which is never really seen in the games but is kind of featured in "FNAF 3." The security guard is a guy named Mike (Josh Hutcherson), just like most installments, and there's a police officer named Vanessa (Elizabeth Lail), which references a pivotal character from "FNAF: Security Breach." You get the idea, right? It seems like the film intends to acknowledge its roots without mirroring them, and that's great — because our recommendation for the sequel would equally junk the original timeline.

If Blumhouse gets a sequel (which seems likely, given how the film already made its budget back before it released) then it should take its cues from "Five Nights at Freddy's 4." The fourth installment in the series follows an injured child recovering from surgery in their bedroom. Thanks to the nature of their injury — an accidental lobotomy, courtesy of Freddy Fazzbear's massive chompers — they suffer from intense hallucinations. Unsurprisingly, a child traumatized by a near-fatal encounter with murder robots sees those very same murder robots haunting his halls. They sneak in through his closet, through his window, and from beneath his bed. They lurk in the halls, hungry for another taste.

Worse for the kid, but better for the audience, the animatronics in "FNAF 4" feature a new, more terrifying aesthetic. They're warped, decayed, and fetid, with innumerable rows of jagged teeth. These are the Nightmare Animatronics, and they're appropriately named so. And they'd only truly be scary if they're allowed by an R-rating to let them do their not-so-pleasant thing in gruesome detail. 

So yes, "Five Nights at Freddy's 4" should be the basis for the sequel. However, let's take this one step further — because if there's one thing "FNAF" isn't, it's straightforward. There has to be at least 38 different things going on, and the juggling act has to make as little sense as possible. 

We propose that Blumhouse Productions pulls double-duty on its sequel by making the A-plot revolve around a modified version of "FNAF 4," as previously argued, while the B-plot revolves around a different character's version of "FNAF: Sister Location." In brief, the game "Sister Location" sees a security guard take employment at Circus Baby's Entertainment and Rental, a sister location to Freddy Fazzbear's Pizza. As the narrative unfurls, players realize that the security guard is only there to learn about his past.

One of the many "Sister Location" endings sees Ennard, an animatronic amalgamate, follow Mike home, tear out his insides, and wear him like a suit. To be clear, every ending of "Sister Location" sees Mike (technically, probably, a different Mike ... there are two Mikes in "FNAF" lore, just ignore that for now) perish, but this particular ending puts him back in his own home. Now, let's say that the A-plot involves his daughter as the kid who's experiencing the "FNAF 4"-style hallucinations from her head injury, which means we can get a terrifying climax where Mike is trying to outrun Ennard while trying to protect his daughter from creatures only she can see.

In our "Five Nights at Freddy's 2," Abby spends the film bedridden. Perhaps through montage, we see Mike take her to the ER, where she undergoes intensive surgery. Meanwhile, Mike vows to snuff out the monsters that harmed her. When she finally regains consciousness, her vision is clouded with horrific hallucinations. Mike understands that what she's seeing isn't real ... but they're real to Abby, she knows the feel of their fur and steel all too well, and the stress they force upon her mind is just as lethal as the bite. Frantically, Mike seeks a way to end the animatronics, who are mysteriously no longer lodged in Freddy Fazzbear's Pizza.

Instead, he discovers Circus Baby's Entertainment and Rental. Per the laws of the "FNAF" franchise, it does not go well. He encounters Circus Baby and the hoards of haunting Minireenas. Meanwhile, Abby's hallucinations grow. The animatronics warp from their cuddly forms into something more nightmarish. They crawl across her floor and peek through the crack in her door. And their teeth, those awful teeth ... she feels them close around her head, again and again.

Mike barely escapes the sister location only to realize too late that he's being followed by a mass of sentient wires. Ennard wants a new host body, and their eyes are set on Mike. When the ex-security guard finally makes it home, he finds Abby barricaded in her closet, screaming at a Foxy plush. He manages to calm her down but only just before Ennard barges in. With his final breath, Mike buys Abby time to escape. Then Ennard ... scoops him. 

Abby survives, to lead the franchise to whatever atrocity is next. And clearly, this can't be done with a PG-13 rating.