The Untold Truth Of The Late Matthew Perry

Known for his quick wit, perfect comic timing, and snarky one-liners, Matthew Perry is the quintessential '90s funnyman. Forever remembered as Chandler Bing from "Friends," he grew up in Canada with a dream of becoming rich and famous. Through sheer force of will, it seems, he was able to do that and much more.

From his earliest days as a little-known actor in the '80s to his worldwide sitcom fame in the '90s through his later career on "The Odd Couple" and beyond, Perry's career has been a remarkable evolution. But behind the laughter lie the challenges he faced on the road to stardom, including troubles with addiction and mental health that make his tragic life story an important reminder that even the biggest stars face very real problems.

There is so much more to Matthew Perry, though than his years on "Friends" or his well-publicized road to recovery. With his devastating death in 2023, fans are gathering to celebrate his life, and we thought we'd help by illuminating some of the untold truth about Matthew Perry.

It's hard to imagine Matthew Perry doing anything other than making audiences laugh because he's been doing it for so long. He got his start guest-starring on shows like "Charles in Charge" and "Silver Spoons," and a memorable recurring role on "Growing Pains," and has since become synonymous with sitcoms. Believe it or not, though, tennis was his first serious ambition.

Perry had quite a promising tennis career earlier in life. In his youth, Perry was a highly-ranked player on the junior circuit in Canada where he grew up, and had real hopes of turning pro. His move to Los Angeles changed things and gave him some perspective. 

"Giving up tennis wasn't really a decision I had to make," he told Men's Health in 2012. "I was a very good tennis player in Ottawa, Canada — nationally ranked when I was, like, 13. Then I moved to Los Angeles when I was 15, and everyone in L.A. just killed me. I was pretty great in Canada. Not so much in Los Angeles. It was insane. I realized I wouldn't be playing tennis for a living, so I went for acting."

In the 1990s, Matthew Perry wasn't just one of the biggest stars on TV, he was one of the biggest actors in Hollywood, period. He and the rest of the cast of "Friends" were bigger than just about anyone, and that meant that everyone wanted to know who they were dating. Over the years, a few of Perry's high-profile romances have been well-chronicled, including his time dating "Baywatch" star Yasmine Bleeth in 1995, Neve Campbell a few years later, Lizzy Caplan in the late 2000s, and a brief engagement to literary manager Molly Hurwitz that was broken off in 2020.

What some may not recall are some of his lesser-known loves, including "The Bold and the Beautiful" star Maeve Quinlan in 2002, a very brief romance with "Gilmore Girls" star Lauren Graham a year later, and volleyball player Rachel Dunn not long after. But even more lesser-known are some of the famous women he went out with that never turned into relationships, such as an infamous first date with Cameron Diaz.

"Years ago, right after she quit seeing Justin Timberlake, I got set up on a date with Cameron Diaz," Perry said in his memoir, "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing" (via Insider). Unfortunately, the date didn't exactly go smoothly. "Upon seeing me, Cameron got almost instantly stoned — it was clear that she wasn't interested in me at all." To add insult to injury, Diaz mistakenly punched Perry in the face after he told a joke during a game of Pictionary.

In addition to a date with Cameron Diaz, Matthew Perry also had a single encounter with Gwyneth Paltrow reportedly. But once he became a household name on "Friends" it was another superstar that Perry pursued, beginning a relationship with superstar Julia Roberts. As he described to GQ in 2022, after the publication of his memoir, his courtship of Roberts was "unbelievably romantic."

As Perry detailed, it all started when he began chasing Roberts to be a guest star on "Friends." To his surprise, the big screen star showed interest, but only if her part would put her into a storyline with Perry's Chandler Bing. Flattered, Perry realized that Roberts might have an interest in more than just a guest spot. "But first, I had to woo her," he said in his memoir (via EW). He first tried a traditional bouquet of roses, to which Perry got an unusual response. She wanted him to concisely explain quantum physics to her, and it wasn't a joke. "Wow. First of all, I'm in an exchange with the woman for whom lipstick was invented, and now I have to hit the books."

"The following day, I sent her a paper all about wave-particle duality and the uncertainty principle and entanglement, and only some of it was metaphorical," he said. They began flirting heavily over fax of all things, and before long Roberts not only agreed to guest star, but she and Perry were already a couple before they even shot her guest appearance.

Like many stars and ordinary people alike, Matthew Perry has had his struggles with alcohol and drug addiction, which have been well chronicled. The actor admits that during production on "Friends," he was rarely sober, with his substance use so bad that he lived in rehab during part of the show's run, famously getting a day out of the facility to film Monica and Chandler's wedding. After years of problems, though, Perry finally focused on cleaning up his life, and he spent $9 million to see it through.

More than a dozen surgeries were required to save Perry's life over the years, including one that doctors told his family he almost certainly wouldn't survive. Against all odds, Perry came out the other side, but to keep himself healthy, it cost him millions of dollars. "I have been to six thousand AA meetings," he said (via E!). "I've been to rehab fifteen times. I've been in a mental institution, gone to therapy twice a week for thirty years, been to death's door." 

At one point, after his colon ruptured, Perry's problems were so bad they left him in a coma. "I was put on a thing called an ECMO machine, which does all the breathing for your heart and your lungs," he told People. "That's called a Hail Mary. No one survives that," he said. But survive Perry did, and at the time of his death, he'd been sober for nearly three years.

If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction issues, help is available. Visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website or contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

Few would ever think of Matthew Perry as a brute, and certainly not the kind of person who would go on national television telling stories about how he beat up the Canadian Prime Minister. Yet, in 2022, Perry did just that, though the important context is that they were in grade school together.

"I have a story about him that I'm not proud of," Perry told Jimmy Kimmel in 2017. "My friend Chris Murray who was also in the fifth grade in Canada reminded me that we actually beat up Justin Trudeau ... I don't know [why] ... I think he was excelling in a sport that we weren't [as good at], so it was pure jealousy." Kimmel astutely pointed out that the incident occurred when Trudeau's father was the country's sitting Prime Minister, though it doesn't sound like Perry got into any more serious trouble than your average playground tussler. "I'm not bragging about this, this is terrible. I was a stupid kid."

As for Trudeau himself, the current Prime Minister responded playfully, challenging Perry to a rematch two weeks after he'd made the remarks on Kimmel, well-timed for April Fool's Day. Perry humbly declined a second round.

"Friends" was a show full of big laughs from every member of the cast. Each had a unique style of humor, and Matthew Perry was no exception. But some in the cast weren't always thrilled with the jokes they were given in the script, either feeling they weren't funny or didn't fit their character. After all, playing these roles every week for years, the performers may know their characters better than anyone. And when Perry wanted a different joke, his tactic was to sabotage the script.

In her book, "End Credits: How I Broke Up With Hollywood," series writer Patty Lin talked about how the likes of Perry, Jennifer Aniston, and Courtney Cox would ruin jokes written in the script by intentionally delivering them wrong or badly. This would often force the crew to look for a fix, necessitating a rewrite, with the cast themselves often pitching in ideas for new jokes. "They all knew how to get a laugh, but if they didn't like a joke, they seemed to deliberately tank it, knowing we'd rewrite it."

The pushback on what they deemed as a "bad joke" wasn't always helpful, though — even if they might have made the show better — especially to writers like Lin. "These sessions had a dire, aggressive quality that lacked all the levity you'd expect from the making of a sitcom." 

With his long history of dating some of the biggest female stars, Matthew Perry demonstrated that he had the charm and good looks to woo just about anyone. There was one instance, however, where his luck with the ladies ran out when he pursued Valerie Bertinelli, his co-star from the short-lived 1990 sitcom "Sydney." In his memoir (per EW), Perry admitted to being all but infatuated with Bertinelli, who'd risen to fame on the 1974 sitcom "One Day at Time" and was now a leading lady. Unfortunately, at the time, she happened to be married to rock n' roll legend Eddie Van Halen.

"I fell madly in love with Valerie Bertinelli, who was clearly in a troubled marriage," Perry said in his book. "My crush was crushing; not only was she way out of my league, but she was also married to one of the most famous rock stars on the planet." Though Perry dreamed that Bertinelli might leave her husband and run away with him, the closest he ever got was a serious makeout session when visiting her home, and it was a risky move, as Van Halen lay passed out a mere 10 feet from them while locking lips.

While Perry was thrilled by the encounter, his co-star the next day pretended like it never happened, making working with her uncomfortable. Almost thankfully, "Sydney" was canceled shortly thereafter, with Perry reflecting, "...and I didn't have to see Valerie anymore."

Matthew Perry suffered numerous health crises through the years, which are all well documented. One of the most horrific occurred while he was doing another stint in rehab, and was preparing for surgery for reported stomach pain, which required a dose of heavy anesthesia. "I was given the shot at 11:00 a.m.," Perry said (via EW). "I woke up eleven hours later in a different hospital."

According to Perry, the drug had actually stopped his heart for five full minutes. It was quite inexplicable, as he hadn't flatlined, but his heart wasn't pumping. "I was told that some beefy Swiss guy really didn't want the guy from 'Friends' dying on his table and did CPR on me for the full five minutes, beating and pounding my chest." In the incident, the doctor broke eight of Perry's ribs, which required more physical rehab too. This became a problem for his next movie because he'd just been cast in a major role in Adam McKay's "Don't Look Up."

As Perry recounts, he was initially to play a Republican journalist who shares the screen with Meryl Streep in a few scenes, and it was "heartbreaking" to miss out on the role. 

For some fans, Matthew Perry was the heart and soul of "Friends," with his signature wisecracks becoming one of the best things about the series. Believe it or not, though, Matthew Perry almost missed out on the chance to join the series in a leading role, not once but twice. The first obstacle was that Perry was already committed to another project when it came time to audition for the series.

"I was off the market because I had taken a job on a pilot called "LAX 2194," Perry said on "Late Night with Seth Meyers." The series, a sci-fi comedy co-starring Kelly Hu and Ryan Stiles followed a group of baggage handlers working in the Los Angeles International Airport in the distant future. "I was wearing a futuristic shirt," Perry said. "And little people played the aliens in which I had to sort out the aliens' luggage and that was basically the show."

The goofy series pilot thankfully didn't impress network execs, with one saying it was "the worst thing we've ever seen in our lives." Suddenly, Perry was available to audition, and the rest is history ... or so many may think. But the truth is, Chandler — and Phoebe — were originally intended to be minor supporting characters. Thanks to Perry and Lisa Kudrow's talent, however, that quickly changed.

During its 10 seasons, "Friends" had some impressive recurring guest stars including Reese Witherspoon, Tom Selleck, and Paul Rudd. But few storylines featured as big a name as when we meet Ross' ex-girlfriend Elizabeth's father Paul, played by "Die Hard" star Bruce Willis. Even with the show's history of big-name guest stars, Willis' appearance was a big deal, and an even bigger one because he stuck around for three whole episodes. 

Unlike Julia Roberts, though, who agreed to appear because she had a crush on Matthew Perry, Willis did it because he lost a bet to Perry. Flashing back to 1999, Perry and Willis met during production of the film "The Whole Nine Yards." During filming, the two actors bonded over their love of partying between takes, but during their fun, Willis expressed concerns that the film was going to flop. Perry disagreed, and the two made a wager: If the movie was a hit, Willis had to do a guest spot on "Friends." 

Arriving in theaters in February 2000, "The Whole Nine Yards" was #1 at the box office en route to a $106 million haul, more than double its $41 million budget. Willis got the last laugh, though, as in addition to three excellent episodes, Willis took home an Emmy Award for his performance as Paul Stevens.

Chandler and Rachel were good friends for nine seasons, and so were their performers, Matthew Perry and Jennifer Aniston. It was also Aniston who was the one to step in when the cast noticed that Perry's alcohol and drug addiction was getting out of control. But years earlier, when the show first began, Perry had doubts about having anything to do with Aniston. Not because he didn't like her, quite the opposite in fact.

A few years before "Friends" began, Perry met Aniston through mutual friends, and the sparks were instant — for him, at least. "I was immediately taken by her (how could I not be?) and liked her, and I got the sense she was intrigued, too — maybe it was going to be something," Perry said in his book (per Entertainment Weekly). After a brief flirtation, Perry asked her out on a date but was kindly rebuffed, with Aniston saying that she'd love to be friends, but wasn't interested in him romantically. The problem was, three years later, Perry was forced to be around his crush every day when they were both cast on "Friends."

"Fairly early in the making of 'Friends' I realized that I was still crushing badly on Jennifer Aniston," he recalled. "Our hellos and goodbyes became awkward." But as time moved on, Perry's feelings waned mostly because of "her deafening lack of interest."

With the triumph of "The Whole Nine Yards," Matthew Perry had a major movie win, and with "Friends" coming to an end not long after, the actor likely saw a path to a new career on the big screen. First up was a sequel, "The Whole Ten Yards, reuniting him with Bruce Willis for another run at box office gold. But the follow-up was a major bomb, and it's one that made Perry completely reassess his career.

"That was the moment Hollywood decided to no longer invite Mr. Perry to be in movies," Perry said in his memoir (per Today). Forced to re-evaluate his career, Perry used the failure of "The Whole Ten Yards" to pivot, looking for quality roles first and foremost. One of his next projects was the Aaron Sorkin-created TV series "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip," which arrived with major hype, with many thinking it was going to be the next big hit.

Famously overshadowed by the similarly-themed "30 Rock" from Tina Fey, "Studio 60" was canceled after just one year, but that didn't stop Perry. Turning to writing, he created "Mr. Sunshine" in 2011 and "Go On" in 2012. Neither lasted, but he made a major comeback on "The Odd Couple" reboot in 2015, which had a solid three-season run.