Madame Web: What The Worst Critic Reviews Say About Sony's Marvel Movie

Sony's latest "Spider-Man"-adjacent film "Madame Web" hits theaters on February 14, and to say critics are underwhelmed is a colossal understatement.

As of this writing, "Madame Web" — which stars Dakota Johnson as Cassandra "Cassie" Webb, a paramedic who discovers she can see the future — boasts a bleak critical rating of 16% over on Rotten Tomatoes. The reviews make it clear that most critics don't think much of this Sony installment.

Some of them were, at least, a little bit nice, like Lindsay Bahr over at the Associated Press, who praised the movie's director, S.J. Clarkson. "It's too bad because there could have been a more fun movie in here — Clarkson imbues it with a distinctly feminine and teenage energy that makes good use of its soundtrack," Bahr wrote. "But it spins itself into a knot trying to justify a silly story instead." Over at CNN, Brian Lowry seemed like he had high hopes for the film: "'Madame Web' might have sounded like an interesting experiment, and it sort of is, but the execution feels less like a fully realized film than an extended prologue for a movie to come."

As for Peter Debruge at Variety, he simply noted that the Sony movie had too much to live up to when it comes to superhero films ... and was kinder than most. "'Madame Web' was never going to touch the relatively high-concept, Disney-made 'Avengers' movies," he noted. "But guess what? Tickets still cost just as much as they would for a more canonical Marvel movie. So why settle for the knock-off?" So far, those are some of the nicest reviews of "Madame Web."

Frankly, most critics really went after "Madame Web" for being ineptly made and lazily executed — and some critics like Kimberley Jones (of the Austin Chronicle) went directly for the film's jugular: "A car crash would be more interesting. 'Madame Web' is a fender bender — nothing calamitous, just a time suck. An annoyance. A waste." David Fear at Rolling Stone, meanwhile, invoked one of the worst movies in recent memory, writing, "It is the 'Cats: The Movie' of superhero movies. Not a single decision seems of sound mind. Not a single performance feels in sync with the material."

Over at The Globe and Mail, Barry Hertz also invoked a terrible movie, but he went as far as to apologize to a notably bad Sony flick. "Today, I owe 'Morbius' an apology, because it turned out that Sony Pictures just needed a little more time and a whole lot of misplaced confidence to make an even worse Spidey spinoff, the astoundingly abysmal Madame Web," he wrote. Lovia Gyarkye of The Hollywood Reporter was extraordinarily blunt, simply saying, "It is an airless and stilted endeavor driven by a mechanical screenplay. Its lack of imagination would be astounding if it wasn't so expected." Similarly, Hoai Tran-Bui wrote for Inverse that "'Madame Web' is just about the worst movie you'd find at the bottom of that Walmart dollar bin — doomed to be forgotten as soon as it's seen."

Unfortunately, the movie's cast couldn't even save the apparent travesty that is "Madame Web." As Michael Phillips at the Chicago Tribune wrote, "Nobody in this movie pops, or crackles, or snaps, or finds ways to energize the blah blah. The action's not much; the acting's minimalist bordering on somnambulant."

Over at Vanity Fair,  Richard Lawson mourned the fact that Dakota Johnson is sorely misused in "Madame Web, invoking former performances — and also took a shot at the movie's whole vibe. "Mostly, the movie is a Pepsi ad strangely populated by performances turned to low volume," he sniped. "Johnson, so likable in fare as varied as '50 Shades of Grey' and 'Suspiria,' is a minimalist performer. Her casting here is an unfortunate mistake."

David Ehrlich of IndieWire mustered up extraordinarily faint praise for Johnson, who usually earns solid-enough reviews even if the overall project is a dud. Still, it's safe to say Ehrlich wasn't a fan: "'Madame Web' is a superhero movie that feels like it was made by and for people who have never seen a modern superhero movie. In theory, that might have been a blessing in disguise. In practice, only Johnson is able to make it seem that way."

As many critics point out, the superhero genre on the whole feels like it's on a decline. Marvel and DC films haven't been making as big of a splash as they once did, and thanks to a string of duds like the aforementioned "Morbius" — and now "Madame Web" — Sony's attempt at weaving a web between itself and the MCU feels like an exercise in futility. Over at USA Today, Brian Truitt noted that "Madame Web" is a disservice to this ailing genre, bringing it back several steps rather than forward: "Instead of being a breath of fresh air akin to the Tom Holland Spider-flicks, 'Madame Web' is instead a reminder of the Worst Superhero Times (aka the mid-2000s)."

Lex Briscuso at TheWrap was blunt, like many other critics — and said that the movie is just poorly made as well as being a cruddy entry into the ongoing Marvel story: "Not only is the latest addition to the Marvel canon lacking a true emotional core, it's devoid of many key elements that make a movie successful in the translation from the screen to the audience's psyche." Valerie Complex at Deadline Hollywood Daily also took a shot at the superhero genre, writing, "'Madame Web' embodies the pitfalls of mainstream superhero cinema: films not driven by story and character but seemingly by studio mandates, and franchise considerations."

On the topic of superhero movies and "Madame Web," Nick Schager at The Daily Beast may very well have the last word: "On the basis of Madame Web, however, Sony's "Spider-Man" Universe is now completely lifeless—and in no need of resuscitation."