Spider-Man Showed A Marvel God How To Poop - Secret Wars' Oddest Moment, Explained
Marvel Comics tried to recapture lightning in a bottle following the success of the original "Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars" (by Jim Shooter, Michael Zeck, John Beatty, Christie Scheele, and Joe Rosen) with the release of "Secret Wars II" in 1985. However, the comic was poorly received by critics and audiences — and one scene might help explain why it didn't live up to the hype of the original miniseries.
In "Secret Wars II" #2 (by Shooter, Al Milgrom, Steve Leialoha, Josef Rubinstein, Mandy Hands, Rick Parker, and Rosen), the reality-changing cosmic being the Beyonder decides to take on the human form of Steve Rogers and learns more about humanity, seeing different cultures and habits as he wanders through New York City. Despite the disguise, Beyonder still stands out; he doesn't know how to eat correctly, accidentally biting and swallowing a bottle. Additionally, he does not understand other customs, such as wearing clothes.
Eventually, Beyonder tracks down Spider-Man, seeking to learn more about human behavior. However, the conversation is interrupted when Beyonder feels fullness in his abdomen, with Peter Parker explaining he probably needs to use the bathroom. The Beyonder doesn't know what this means, leading Spider-Man to direct him to the toilet and help with the process. The scene cuts to moments later and the cosmic entity goes into the bathroom.
Marvel Comics/Al Milgrom
The scene remains one of the most bizarre moments from "Secret Wars II," as it shows that Beyonder still has lots to learn about being human — even the basics, such as pooping.
The modern Secret Wars had its own odd moment
In 2015's "Secret Wars" #6 by (Jonathan Hickman, Esad Ribic, Ive Svorcina, and Chris Eliopoulos), Marvel features another unforgettable, incredibly silly moment featuring a cosmic god. Doctor Doom traps the Beyonder-powered Molecule Man as he unleashes a new version of Battleworld. When Peter Parker and Miles Morales discover where he is, he asks the pair if they brought him something to eat. Miles shares that he has a hamburger in his pocket, offering it to the powerful entity. This gesture reverses a tragedy Miles suffers in the Ultimate comics, as Molecule Man saves his family and friends and transfers them to the reformed Earth-616. Ultimately, a hamburger saves numerous lives — and it will be fascinating to see if the storyline is adapted in some form in the Marvel Cinematic Universe's upcoming "Avengers: Secret Wars."
Even comic stories with large multiversal stakes and potentially universe-ending threats need humorous moments. In the case of "Secret Wars II," Spider-Man teaching the Beyonder how to poop is memorable, but not necessarily for good reason, despite showing how the otherworldly being doesn't quite understand humanity or how people usually operate on a day-to-day basis. Still, it's a hilarious scene most readers remember, which, for better or worse, makes it one of the few highlights from the "Secret Wars" sequel.
To read more about Marvel's cosmic entity, check out the untold truth of the Beyonder.