The Tragic Reason Giancarlo Esposito Almost Hired A Hitman Before Breaking Bad

This article contains discussions of suicide and suicidal ideation.

Giancarlo Esposito might be known for playing intimidating characters onscreen, but apparently, he had such a dark time in his career that he considered taking drastic action to provide for his family. Namely, he considered hiring a hitman to end his life so that his children and wife could get his life insurance payout.

During an interview on "The Jim and Sam Show" with Jim Norton and Sam Roberts, Esposito said that shortly before he booked his breakout role as Gus Fring on the AMC smash "Breaking Bad," he was trying to figure out a way to support his family by hiring someone to end his life. "My way out in my brain was: 'Hey, do you get life insurance if someone commits suicide?'" Esposito recalled wondering when he was truly down and out. "'Do they get the bread?' My wife had no idea why I was asking this stuff. I started scheming. If I got somebody to knock me off, death by misadventure, [my kids] would get the insurance. I had four kids. I wanted them to have a life. It was a hard moment in time. I literally thought of self-annihilation so they could survive. That's how low I was."

"That was the first inkling that there was a way out, but I wouldn't be here to be available to my kids," Esposito said, noting that he did, clearly, decide not to take this tragic path. "Then I started to think that's not viable because the pain I would cause them would be lifelong, and there'd be lifelong trauma that would just extend the generational trauma I'm trying to move away from. The light at the end of the tunnel was 'Breaking Bad.'"

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After working with Spike Lee and David E. Kelley on projects like "School Daze" and "Girls Club" — as well as a role on "Homicide: Life on the Street" — Giancarlo Esposito was still struggling to make a living as an actor, but in 2009, he was cast as drug kingpin Gus Fring on "Breaking Bad" and immediately skyrocketed to fame. (It certainly helps that Gus' extremely violent death on the series provided one of its most indelible images.) He returned to play the role again from 2017 to 2022 on the equally acclaimed "Breaking Bad" prequel "Better Call Saul," appearing alongside star Bob Odenkirk to explain the history of both their characters. So would he play Gus yet again? Yes, definitely.

"Yeah, I would love that," Esposito told British GQ in a video where he answered submitted questions. "My backstory is he was a military guy who worked his way up through the ranks and could have become president, even possibly the dictator and have taken over. But he wanted to do something that could not be controlled by others, and he wanted to control his own destiny. And so he took off to create a new life for himself in America and become a meth dealer, a businessman."

Esposito actually has a clear and extremely cool vision for young Gus: "I think, in his younger years, he was someone who could have been more Tony Montana. But he worked his way into becoming level enough to listen, hear, and see through his emotional state. We would hope that it might be 'The Rise of Gus.'"

These days, Giancarlo Esposito is doing just fine — in fact, he's become an indispensable character actor in Hollywood with a clear penchant for playing complex villains. He lent his voice to the Max animated original series Harley Quinn as Lex Luthor from 2019 to 2023, and in that same time frame, he appeared on the Disney+ and Lucasfilm flagship original series "The Mandalorian" as the Darksaber-wielding villain Moff Gideon. He currently appears on Amazon's wildly popular series "The Boys" as Stan Edgar, and he finally landed a starring vehicle this year with "Parish," a series that brings him back to the original home of "Breaking Bad," AMC. 

On "Parish," Esposito plays the titular role of Gracián "Gray" Parish, a man who leaves his life as a criminal behind to settle down with his family. When Parish's son is killed by people trying to target him, Parish seeks revenge, leading him right back into his former life as a dangerous killer. It's terrible to know that Esposito once considered taking a devastating step to help his family, but nowadays, the only reason he needs to put his life on the line for his family is as a fictional character on screen.