Every Christmas Family Guy Episode, Ranked

Some sitcoms specialize in Thanksgiving episodes, while others excel with their Halloween episodes. "Family Guy" is known for its inventive Christmas episodes, with its only strong competition being its own sister sitcom, "American Dad!" Over the decades, the Griffins have experienced everything from a striking Lois to a disastrous trip away from home for the holidays to a frantic trip to the North Pole. There has been the occasional musical number, the occasional swipe at the cookie-cutter conformity of holiday episodes at large — and plenty of pop culture references, of course. 

Underneath it all, however, lies a sense of togetherness, joy, and even affection that rarely comes out in other episodes that comprise the show's colossal 20-plus season run. But which Christmas episodes of "Family Guy" are like a warm hug from Santa Claus — and which ones are like eating fruitcake someone found on the bottom of Quagmire's (Seth MacFarlane) sock drawer? Here's every Christmas episode of the show that has aired of this writing, and how they rank.

Dedicating one's entire Christmas episode to undoing a major plot twist is a bold gambit, but "Family Guy" failed in its choice to bring back Brian (voice of Seth MacFarlane) after a fairly devastating car accident and get rid of Vinny (Tony Sirico), the Griffins' new dog. Vinny only gets a three-episode tryout before Stewie (MacFarlane) begins to long for his best friend. Stewie tries to ask Santa Claus for Brian back — but ultimately decides to tamper one more time with the timestream to stop the deadly accident that took Brian's life from occurring. Vinny knows what this means but is magnanimous enough to allow Stewie to erase Vinny from his life.

When in doubt, "Family Guy" returns to this easy reset button — by now a familiar gesture that makes for a boring episode. Though Brian and Stewie's friendship here is sweet, this doesn't do the show any favors by changing the ending of a moving episode and failing to have the temerity to forge forward in a new and bold way. The subplot — which features Peter trying to help his father-in-law, Carter Pewterschmidt (both voiced by MacFarlane), get his Christmas spirit back through unorthodox methods — hardly helps. 

"Family Guy" is a show that's never been afraid to get uncomfortable, but the year it celebrated Christmas by parodying "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" was an all-timer. Mostly because the person replacing Steve Carell in the parody is Jesus Christ (Alec Sulkin).

Peter Griffin finds Jesus working at his local record store while trying to replace a 45 he got for the holiday and seeing Him again makes Peter want to hang out with the son of God more often. As they get closer, Peter learns Jesus is still a virgin, he makes it his mission to help him gain sexual experience. The problem? The only person Jesus wants to lose his virginity to is Peter's wife, Lois (Alex Borstein).

The big twist here is fairly shocking even for a Christmastime "Family Guy" episode and has soured fans on their version of Jesus for the rest of its run. Audiences likely remember this episode best for introducing Peter's obsession with the Trashmen song "Surfin' Bird" more than anything else, as it became an in-show meme that turned into a reference unto itself. Perhaps that's all it should be remembered for.

Brian Griffin has long gotten away with bad boy behavior that would make anyone blush. "Christmas Crime" pits him against the entire town of Quahog when a nativity scene owned by Mayor Wild West (Sam Elliott) is smashed to bits thanks to his drunk driving. Brian's actions are accidental, but he was already bitter about the nature of Christmas before the incident, making his actions seem more malicious than they are. Wild figures out the culprit despite Brian's attempt at hiding the evidence, and Brian finds himself alone and sitting in jail on Christmas Day. Will that be enough to reawaken his Christmas spirit?

This story could have been interesting. Brian is notoriously an atheist among the religious in the "Family Guy" world, and the show hasn't addressed that often during its Christmas episodes. But the episode is just another moment of mass destruction with a trite "loving your family is important" ending.

This isn't the first time Lois threatens to leave her family when they refuse to help out with their holiday-assigned chores, but "The First No L" is perhaps the cruelest example of that trope. She tells them she's going to spend the day in Mexico, then takes a motel room nearby. Watching the family through her binoculars, she expects them to fall apart without her help. But to her shock, they not only function better as a unit without her; they're also happy and well-organized. She can't bear this truth, so she destroys their Christmas by stealing their presents. Understandably, this causes tumult, but once she's reunited with the family, Lois realizes how much they mean to her after all.

This is Lois at her absolute worst, with a weak "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" parody that mainly seems to exist so Seth MacFarlane can perform a modified cover of the famous Christmastime tune. 

Peter Griffin doesn't sound like an ideal Santa Claus — to say the least — but he fills in for the big man during "How the Griffin Stole Christmas," which sees him exert as much power as he can when he becomes a mall Santa. Unfortunately, he quickly earns the ire of Santa Claus with his flouting of the rules.

There's no real substance to the plot here, which ends with Santa Claus threatening to kill Peter if he doesn't do what he says. The B-plot — which sees Stewie and Brian become office party crashers who find themselves falling face-first into the melodramas of the lives around them only to find themselves genuinely working the jobs they insist they have — is more fun, but not that great. The end result is middling but serviceably entertaining for a holiday-based "Family Guy" outing. 

It's the Griffins versus the Bible for the first time, and the end result is decently funny, though not as spectacular as their "Blue Harvest" trilogy of mini-films that deconstruct the original "Star Wars" trilogy. 

While the Griffins decorate their Christmas tree, Peter tells the family the story of Jesus' birth, with each member of the family standing in for an important member of those at the scene of the manger. Peter and Lois play Joseph and the Virgin Mary, Joe Swanson (Patrick Warburton, whose family hates his "Family Guy" work), Glenn Quagmire, and Cleveland Brown (Mike Henry) are the three wise men, Chris (Seth Green) is the Little Drummer Boy, Stewie is Jesus ... and Meg (Mila Kunis) is a donkey.  

There are a lot of fast-and-funny jokes here, with some sticking the landing and others missing, but it's not the funniest flurry of jokes the sitcom's ever launched. Bonus points for the very pointed final scene, however, which shows that the meaning behind the Christmas story tends to get overlooked.

This is one of those episodes that only works due to its twisted, "Family Guy"- style logic. It's an entire half-hour about Meg taking Stewie to mall after mall because sitting on Santa Claus' knee ... pleases her. In a not-safe-for-work way.  And only this one particular Santa Claus — who turns out to be the real deal — does it for her. Meg learns that her selfishness is bad and comes to understand what she's put the poor, traumatized Stewie through.

All in all, it's nice to see the show let Meg have more fun and be less of a punching bag to her family. This is an episode that will either tweak the funny bones of edgy humor-loving "Family Guy" Fans or just plain offend them, and it's a toss-up as to which side of the coin your average viewer will fall on. But for this list, it falls right in the middle of the pack.

"Family Guy" often tries to mock the rampant consumerism of Christmas. But in 2023, it used the holiday season to make fun of predictable, pablum-laden sitcoms and the people who love them.

In "Return of the King (of Queens)," Lois sells the family's TV set to fund their Christmas, which means Peter can't enjoy his typical line-up of sitcoms and other holiday folderol. The family talks him into giving up linear television to join the streaming revolution. To his shock, Kevin James (not voiced by the actor himself, but by Josh Robert Thompson) shows up at the Griffins' front door. It seems that Peter's viewership of James' various sitcoms is all that's keeping the actor's enterprise afloat, and he has no idea how to survive in the real world. But the more "real" James becomes, the more of his body disappears, forcing Peter to search for a creative solution.

This is at least an interesting episode with a unique concept that turns into a cri de coeur about the value of sitcoms and broadcast television. Unsurprising, since Fox remains the sitcom's main stock in trade.

Sometimes, "Family Guy" cuts loose in a way that's so absurdist you can't help but laugh at the end result. "Don't be a Dickens at Christmas" is a perfectly ridiculous, fairly harmless parody of "A Christmas Carol" that sends Peter on a scattershot trip through his past, present, and future after his greed. All he wants is a quiet holiday at home, but Lois needs him to help her with dozens of chores and with charity, and she forces him to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with her parents in their mansion. Peter reacts selfishly and is visited by the ghost of Patrick Swayze (Don Swayze). Can Patrick save Peter and make him see what a Dickens he's been?

A number of truly funny set pieces — like the sight of zombified carolers invading the Drunken Clam, and Peter dancing with Swayze's ghost — make this worthwhile viewing. On top of that, the episode is Carrie Fisher's final voice acting role, which makes it very important in the annals of animation history. And it's nice to see Peter care about his kids, whether he's their real dad or not.

This is one of the earliest installments in the Stewie and Brian-centered road-trip heavy "Road To" series, and thus far the only Christmas-centered one. Stranded after going to the mall, Stewie and Brian travel the highways and byways of the world to get home. Stewie — holding a grudge against Santa Claus thanks to a negative experience with a mall Santa — demands that they go to the North Pole. They do and discover that Santa's elf forces are exhausted, leading them into a battle with the man in red, ultimately leaving the two of them in charge of distributing presents worldwide.

The suspenseful plot and the fun rapport between Stewie and Brian definitely carry this one. The music is also the best offered up in any of the Christmas episodes. The genuinely charming "All I Really Want For Christmas" is a genuine toe-tapper that adds to the atmosphere and is the best original song "Family Guy" has added to the holiday song canon. In the end, this is an excellent little Christmas special, but not quite enough to take the duke.

The first isn't always the best but in the case of "Family Guy" episodes, the first comes in at the top of the heap. Lois just wants Stewie to be in the Quahog nativity scene, but the family is beset by calamity after calamity, from the tree going up in flames to Brian ruining their dinner to their presents being accidentally donated to charity. Lois finally snaps, going on a town-wide rampage through various Christmas movies, ending with her climbing the town Christmas tree like King Kong.

It's fun, it's funny, it's fast-paced and it's memorable — what more can you ask from a "Family Guy" episode? It also adds proper holiday cheer to the festive package, leaving audiences gleeful and feeling festive. This episode also has the distinction of launching the sitcom's relationship with KISS, which would later result in a variety of memorable subplots, including the one in "The Road to Europe." It's the creme de la creme among holiday-centered "Family Guy" episodes. It's even a great one to put before the peepers of a "Family Guy" hater — along with a stiff glass of eggnog.