30 Best Modern Family Episodes Ranked

"Dance until your feet hurt, sing until your lungs hurt, act until you're William Hurt." Phil Dunphy (Ty Burrell) is full of spunky bites of wisdom from his book of Phil's-osophies. And it's painfully clear that the patriarch lives by his own words. Life with the Dunphy and Pritchett families are a bit of an adventure. While they may seem like average suburban people living in Southern California, they're anything but. Not only is this blended family diverse in many ways, they're also the life of the party that is one of TV's best sitcoms, "Modern Family."

For those who have seen the show — and let's hope that is everyone reading this spoiler-filled piece — awkward coincidences, hilarious karmic comeuppances, and the rudimentary but valuable need to feel loved and accepted by family are what make "Modern Family" the comedic, heart-warming sitcom that it is. In honor of the series, let's take a look at 30 of the best episodes "Modern Family" has to offer, ranked.

The episode's title refers to Cam (Eric Stonestreet), Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson), and their adopted daughter Lily (Aubrey Anderson-Emmons). When Cam decides to write a book that celebrates their daughter, he discovers that Lily actually has Mitchell's last name only. Cam's last name is Lily's middle name. The two have a lengthy, drama-infused conversation over the matter. But Mitchell eventually admits he worried about a future where he and Cam potentially split when he made that decision. He resolves the problem by committing to giving Lily a hyphenated surname. On that note, Mitchell hilariously confesses that the house is only in his name. Cam better not leave him any time soon.

Haley (Sarah Hyland) and Alex (Ariel Winter) find themselves at sisterly odds over a sweater, while Phil heads to the spa to use a nearly-expired coupon. Alex mistakenly tears her sister's sweater and Claire (Julie Bowen) attempts to keep the peace by scouring the clothing stores for an identical replacement. Meanwhile, Phil is getting a fun lesson from the women at the spa on how to validate his wife's frustrations. While Claire manages to find a sweater, it still has a security tag that ruins the sweater with ink once removed. After the fiasco inevitably explodes, Phil arrives at home in time to validate Claire's frustrations putting the new tools he learned to work –- it's a major success.

The title of this episode is derived from the incessant chirping noise of a smoke detector low on batteries. Claire is sick, and it is up to Phil to manage both her tasks for the day and his own as a real estate agent. He hears the chirping and replaces the batteries in all of the detectors he can find, but the chirping persists. The chirping taunts him as he attempts to make it through the day. He eventually finds detectors Luke tossed in the attic were the culprit.

Elsewhere, Cam is preparing Lily for her big break in a commercial for a children-centric furniture store even though Mitchell opposes the idea. However, Cam's glee over Lily's stardom instantly fades when he sees that those making the commercial dub stereotypical Japanese vocals for baby Lily while set to the backdrop of a Godzilla-like monster (SaveZilla) attacking. When Cam asks for the stereotyping to stop, the director remarks that it's satire. Angrily, Cam grabs the wrong baby and marches off before realizing his mistake.

While Claire and Haley are at home sick, Claire encourages Haley to dump her dense boyfriend Dylan (Reid Ewing) and go out with a more promising individual by relating the background of the soap opera on television. However, Claire isn't direct and only talks about the show without ever mentioning Dylan by name. In an amusing mix-up, Haley doesn't make the connection and instead thinks Claire is referring to herself and Phil — and that Claire is lamenting wasting her entire life with a "buffoon."

In an effort to help Manny (Rico Rodriguez) and Luke (Nolan Gould) raise money for a school charity fundraiser, Jay (Ed O'Neill) and Gloria (Sofia Vergara) hold a garage sale. When the boys try to bring a box from the attic, Gloria angrily takes it from them. Of course, Manny and Luke are curious about what is in the box and attempt to discover the secret ... which turns out to be a ventriloquist dummy. Gloria used to practice ventriloquism and the family eggs her on to perform. Hilariously, the dummy, Uncle Grumpy, looks and sounds just like Jay, and Claire realizes Gloria married her dummy.

Jay decides to sell his motorcycle, since he has a new baby on the way. Phil gets a wild hair and thinks he might want to buy the bike after Jay goads him into taking it for a test drive. Phil tries to prove his manhood by taking the bike out into the canyon. When he stops, the bike topples over on top of him. While he's stuck, he makes a video for his family in case he dies. Of course, he manages to get out of the predicament, but upon his return, he's missing his entire left pant leg.

During the event, Alex is flirting with a boy she likes but Claire believes the boy is gay. She even has Mitchell and Cam confirm he's gay through their own deduction. Claire attempts to put the fling to an end to spare Alex the pain of that discovery. Nothing goes her way, however, and she resigns herself to the fact that Alex will learn on her own.

The narrative of this episode is like one giant Rube Goldberg machine, just like the one Luke and Manny set up as a trap to strike back at Lily for consuming all the attention. Instead of Lily, however, Cam falls prey to the machine and allegedly "hurts" his back while breaking Lily's favorite doll. In an effort to keep Lily happy, Phil, Alex, Haley, and Lily head to the mall to see if they can get the doll repaired. On the trip, however, Alex accidentally reveals that Haley and Dylan were having sex. This puts an awkward strain on the trip, as Phil tries to cope with the idea that his daughter isn't his little girl any longer.

At a breakfast that morning, the family has fun making confessions of old misdeeds. Mitchell confesses that long-ago, Jay never actually made his famous hole-in-one shot during a golfing match. Mitchell kicked the ball into the hole. Jay is hurt by the reveal because that hole-in-one has been a part of his identity among his friends. He even earned the title of "Ace" for the supposed feat. Jay ultimately decides he doesn't need to pass this new revelation onto his friends because they all have their own secrets. Mitchell, however, walks in during a conversation that leads him to believe Jay confessed — and he stands up for his dad inadvertently, revealing the truth to his friends.

While the entire family is out doing their own thing, Cam continues to feign a back injury so that he can stay and search for his Tupperware — which Claire alleges she doesn't have. In comedic twist of fate, Cam manages to actually hurt himself during the search — but does recover the Tupperware, leaving him elated.

Claire has been running for city council, and the day of the election has come. Everyone has been given a task on this important day. Laughably, however, they are all unable to complete their tasks. Phil is supposed to drive 50 senior citizens to their local polling place in order to vote ... but he barely is able to transport one after using a bunch of time helping the man make return trips to retrieve his glasses, food, and medicine. Luke makes wild promises that citizens won't have to pay taxes if they vote for his mom. Alex fails miserably to manage the phone banks. Jay is simply supposed to just make his vote but after running into a former flame working the polls, she callously refuses to cast his vote.

Claire is attempting to gain the necessary press the big day requires. After trying to bite off a tag from her suit, Claire loses her fake tooth right before she's supposed to take a photo for the local paper. Losing her tooth also makes her sound drunk during her radio interview. The entire day was an absolute train wreck, but underscored the idea that not everything goes according to plan — especially with a family that has a bad history with luck.

In "Great Expectations," Claire and Phil show us all just how perfect they are for each other, despite their flaws. The couple is celebrating their anniversary, and those who are familiar with the Dunphy clan know that Phil is a romantic and Claire is ... well, she's not. Being what he is inherently makes Phil a stellar gift-giver. Claire, however, fails in that department time and time again. In a hilarious attempt to subvert Phil's expectations for this particular anniversary, Claire hires a the (fictional) bass player of Spandau Ballet to put on a private show at their home. The bass player, Izzy LaFontaine (Edward Norton), begins to notice that Phil isn't exactly the Spandau Ballet fan Claire talked him up to be. While Phil stumbles unable to produce any song title from Spandau's discography, Izzy becomes offended.

Claire then comes to the awful realization that Phil doesn't like Spandau Ballet and that the song "True" is not the couple's special song that was playing during their first kiss. Phil adamantly declares with a perfect memory of the event that "If You Leave" by Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark was their song. While the moment was a humorous disaster, the two still connect simply because Claire tried.

As the title implies, this episode is all about the art of fencing. Manny embraces his "old soul" and pursues the hobby, but attempts to quit when he realizes he has to face off against a girl. Gloria teaches Manny that that's not a good reason to quit, and that he should compete just as aggressively as he would if his opponent were male.

Of course, both Gloria and Jay's goading to crush the competition comes back to bite them when they learn that Manny's opponent lost both of her parents and is battling an illness. While Jay and Gloria try to reach out to Manny to get him to back down and let her win, Manny is too far gone, taking the lesson Gloria taught him to heart. He bests his opponent and talks a little bit of smack along the way. It's not exactly Gloria's proudest moment, and the couple feels a bit of awkward shame for their son touting his win over an ailing opponent.

In the first Christmas episode of the series, Phil uncharacteristically lands himself in the role of the Grinch. After Claire finds a burn mark on the couch, the couple deduce that one of their children was smoking –- a rather extreme conclusion to jump to without any other evidence. This perfectly encapsulates the hapless Dunphy duo, who tend to leap before they look. Regardless, Phil attempts to adopt a firmer stance as a parent (which he isn't known to do) and threatens to cancel Christmas unless the culprit steps forward. Eventually, Alex confesses to the crime and is grounded the week after Christmas. Later, however, the family discovers that a dangling Christmas ornament is refracting light and burning the couch. Alex falsely confessed in order to keep Christmas. Phil feels his own shame and inadvertently promises the family a trip to Italy -– a wild, expensive promise Claire isn't happy about.

Meanwhile, Cam and Mitchell accidentally get a mall Santa fired when they complained that he didn't look the part. Feeling guilty, they invited him over for dinner. When Cam's former a cappella group, the Greensleevers, arrives to taunt him for being kicked out of the group, he gets angry. The mall Santa explains that forgiveness is the way to go, just as he forgave them for getting him fired. But when the leader of the group dismisses Cam's polite seasons greetings, the Santa decks the singer's halls and runs. Sometimes a hefty right hook is appropriate.

Ever had an awkward moment in locker room where you mistakenly brushed up against someone while undressing? Well, Jay has the pleasure of experiencing that with his own (future) son-in-law, Cam. The two head to the gym to play racquetball, and while in the locker room they both accidentally press their bare butts together while they are undressing. Cam is perfectly fine with the mishap, recognizing it as life in a locker room. He dubs it a "moon landing." Jay, on the other hand, is completely awkward about it and keeps telling Cam to stop talking about it. After Jay mops the floor with Cam, he hits the showers and then does the same thing once again — but with a random stranger who he thinks is Cam. Jay proudly exclaims it doesn't bother him any more and intentionally presses his butt against the poor guy once again. After Cam waltzes around the corner Jay's heart sinks and he rushes out there while most of us viewers are wiping away tears of laughter.

Also in this episode, Jay, Manny, and Mitchell all have trouble confronting Gloria over her terrible driving. Jay and Manny know Gloria and fear the confrontation with her spicy temper as they attempt to push Mitchell into taking the heat. While she gives Mitchell a run for his money, she eventually apologizes after crashing her car into a restaurant.

"The Kiss" is, of course, centered around kissing and the emotions associated with it. While Alex may be the brainy daughter, she's still young, and awkward when it comes romantic engagements. Claire finds that her daughter is flirting with a boy at school, and Claire encourages Haley to approach Alex on the subject. Of course, Haley pulls a "big sister" stunt and tells Alex that if she doesn't hurry up and kiss the boy, he'll get the wrong idea and maybe even think she's a lesbian. Experiencing a sudden sense of urgency, Alex runs to the house of her crush and unloads her feelings on him and asking him to kiss her at the front door ... while the rest of the boy's soccer team listens behind the door. Alex heads home and unleashes her righteous anger on her sister and mother for their misguided "help."

Meanwhile, Cam and Mitchell are shopping when Cam goes for a kiss. Mitchell declines the kiss, leading Cam to chide his boyfriend over his problem with public displays of affection. Cam amusingly recounts the time that Mitchell high-fived him at a New Year's Eve party instead of resorting to the holiday tradition of a kiss.

Once the entire family gathers for dinner at Jay and Gloria's house, Mitchell rejects another kiss from Cam. Then, things get interesting. Jay is accused of being emotionally closed off, which allegedly led to Mitchell's distaste for PDA. The humorous tension boils over, and Jay kisses both Claire and Mitchell in an effort to quit the conversation and move on.

It's Mother's Day and everyone seems to be doing their own thing in order to celebrate the festivities. Claire and Gloria go hiking, and ultimately leave the bickering children behind in an effort to get some peace and quiet. When Claire asks Gloria whether Manny gets on his nerves, she opens up that Manny struggles to be outgoing socially and that his poetry is subpar. Unfortunately, Manny is close enough behind to hear everything.

Meanwhile, after Mitchell serves Cam breakfast in bed, Cam begins to worry about being considered the "woman" in the relationship. After the two head to the park, the other mothers ask Cam to be in the picture as an honorary mom, further stoking his irritation over the issue. Cam and Mitchell insist that it's insulting when people treat them like women, diminishing their sense of masculinity. The two continue to dispute the issue, leading to some of the hilarious banter that we've become accustomed to from the pair.

Jay and Phil stay home to cook dinner. Phil manages to have Jay get in touch with his emotional side, as he causes him to recall a letter Jay wrote when he was 9-years-old to his mom. The patriarch denies that he cried when Phil later tells the whole family of the moment. But the truth shines forth when Jay begins weeping again after telling a story of his mother.

We've all committed to a project we that ultimately ended up being more of a challenge than we envisioned. Phil and Luke find themselves in that predicament as they set out to build a treehouse. After Luke throws in the towel, Phil's neighbor, Andre (Kevin Hart), offers to assist.

In another part of the Dunphy household, Haley is attempting to write an essay about the biggest obstacle she's ever had to overcome. She struggles establishing her basis for the paper, as she recognizes that she's lived a pretty comfortable life. Haley blames Claire for making her life so easy. So, like any good mother would do, Claire takes Haley on a quick car ride and ditches her out in the boonies without money or a phone, proclaiming that Haley's found her topic for the paper.

Elsewhere, Cam believes a waitress is flirting with him and Mitchell balks at the idea, stating that she clearly just wants to make money. Offended, Cam sets out to get a woman's number. He finds Katie (Leslie Mann) and strikes up a conversation, in which he does retrieve her number. She later finds herself over at Cam's house and he confesses that he is a gay man and was simply trying to win a bet. Katie already knew that, and only wanted to find a gay best friend. After Mitchell comes home, however, she puts on a show — proclaiming her love for Cam while puckering up and laying a big on him, before yelling at Mitchell to cherish him as she storms out.

Phil's antics are a hoot, and this episode's sensational Phil maneuver certainly delivers. As a real estate agent, he decides to advertise his business on his van. Since he declares that his family is his best asset, he decides to have his family represented in the ad. The slogan on the image reads "I can't be satisfied until you're satisfied, let me make your dreams come true." When the wrapped advertisement is applied to the van, however, one side of the van shows an image of Claire with the portion of the line that says "I can't be satisfied" while the other side is an image of Haley stating "Let me make your dreams come true." It was a hilarious blunder that led to Phil receiving many callers asking if he is selling sex services. Claire and Haley weren't amused.

Cam recently landed the role of interim music director at the school. Manny complains to Mitchell that Cam is overworking them, pushing them to learn material rapidly. Mitchell already raised that objection to Cam but was criticized for not being supportive, so Mitchell doesn't get involved. After developing a stage production that ends with kids holding letters displaying "We love the world" alongside "F" (representing Franklin Middle School), a mishap causes Luke to be stuck in suspension. This results in a message to the audience that reads "We love the F word" after the letter F is lowered.

Many sitcom families have experienced the magical kingdom of Disneyland or Disney World. "Black-ish," "Boy Meets World," "The Goldbergs," "The Middle", and "Full House" (all of which ran on ABC, which is owned by Disney) are just a few sitcoms where the star families visited a beloved Disney park. It was only a matter of time before the Dunphy and Pritchett families made the visit, especially since they live in SoCal. Of course, nothing can ever go smoothly in a sitcom. Otherwise, it wouldn't be any fun. 

Phil starts to panic that he's feeling his age and unable to enjoy theme parks like he used to. Of course, he later realizes he has come down with a bug and is relieved that this is all that he is experiencing. Haley runs into her old ex-boyfriend Dylan, who Claire despises for his lack of intellect. He is working at the park as a Dapper Dan. Cam and Mitchell struggle to wrangle Lily as she has a proclivity for running off. When they attempt to use a child leash, they feel the judgements of those around them. Jay helps them resolve the issue by outfitting Lily with a pair of child-sized high heels that keep her from bolting out of sight. A family vacation wouldn't quite feel like one if there wasn't plenty of family problems and drama to go around.

Infuriated by a neighbor's negligence and penchant for speeding through the neighborhood, Claire vows to put an end to it. She prints out several posters directing the license plate number of the culprit to slow down. At one point, Claire even rabidly attempts to chase down the car on her bicycle but still manages to lose sight of the speeder.

All the while, Phil is attempting to sell a house for his client Laura (Jami Gertz). Phil throws an open house for Laura ... and discovers that her silver Camaro is the very same car that Claire has been criticizing for speeding. After Claire meets Phil at the open house by chance after attempting to chase the speeder on bike, Laura agrees to give Claire a ride back home. Phil knows that Claire is about to discover that his client is her arch nemesis. Claire doesn't even pay attention to the car as she is talking and seats herself in the passenger seat. But when Laura references a "neighborhood whack job" and speeds out of her driveway, Claire glances back at Phil as she is sped away with a look of both shock and betrayal. Hopefully the one dozen mylar balloons Phil ordered as an apology will suffice.

Often, new TV series have to find their footing first before truly hooking audiences. However, "Modern Family" managed to rope plenty of viewers in for the long haul with just the first episode. That's right, the pilot episode stands among the best episodes in the series. Of course, the pilot introduces us to each member of this sprawling family. Jay shows how self-conscious he is about being older than his gorgeous newlywed wife. Haley gives Claire and Phil a run for their money as she attempts to have alone time with her boyfriend Dylan.

But the big news of the episode involves Jay's son Mitchell and his partner Cam, who are just returning from Vietnam with a newly adopted baby girl named Lily. Mitchell misunderstands a passenger who refers to Lily and her "cream puffs" and responds angrily believing the reference is to Cam and Mitchell ... when it's just about the cream puffs Lily is actually snacking on. This won't be the last time Mitchell has to insert his foot into his mouth.

It's Manny's 14^th birthday, and Jay and Gloria attempt to throw him a surprise party. Little do they know that Manny would actually bring home a girl and kiss her in the dark, with everyone watching waiting to jump out and surprise the birthday boy. When the girl flips on the lights, she is shocked to see all of Manny's similarly shocked family watching. She runs out in embarrassment, and Manny angrily runs to his room.

Meanwhile, Haley is taunting her parents by dating an older guy by the name of Kenny (Jason Mantzoukas). Phil is a bit slow on the uptake, however, and doesn't realize they're actually dating until much later. When he does finally realize it, however, he is enraged and nearly assaults the guy with a pair of gardening shears.

Later, when Manny finally comes out of his room, Gloria's water breaks and she has to go to the hospital. But she commits to not letting the baby out before midnight so Manny can keep his birthday all to himself. Manny, however, understands how much she loves him and tells her that it's perfectly okay if he shares a birthday with his new sibling.

Halloween is a huge production at the Dunphy house, thanks to Claire's adoration for the holiday. Every year, she puts on a big haunted display, and typically reels in the family to participate and scare trick-or-treaters. Of course, nothing goes according to plan. Everyone has their assignment in the haunted house display, but the rest of the family's heart is just not in it. Gloria attempts an American accent that is a bit worse for wear, while the kids do a terrible job pulling off their characters. Additionally, Jay doesn't initiate the haunted house effects until it's too late.

The funniest moment of the episode, however, is that Mitchell finds that his new law firm allows costumes for the holiday. As a big fan of the superhero, Mitchell dresses as Spider-Man. When he arrives at work, however, he finds that he is only one of three dressed in costume — and overhears other employees mocking that the other two costumed individuals. Mitchell wears a suit over the costume until he can take it off. He finally finds a moment to grab a bathroom stall and change. Haphazardly, he drops his pants in a toilet. He attempts to pull off actual Spider-Man moves and climb down the building from the outside to get the spare suit in his car. But as luck would have it, he sets off the car alarms and turns around to see the whole office watching him out the windows.

During a family trip to Hawaii, Phil decides to double the trip as a honeymoon that he and Claire never got to have due to the birth of Haley. Of course, a honeymoon should be spent without children, right? Well, Phil and Claire do their best to push their kids away and let them enjoy the vacation on their own terms. Of course, in Haley's instance, if you give her an inch, she'll take a mile. She parties with local youth her age and gets hammered, leaving Claire to help her through her first major drunken ordeal.

Speaking of child difficulties, Cam and Mitchell experience some of their own after they accidentally leave Lily in an elevator. The moment is a bit of a hilarious chaos, as Cam hysterically yells for someone to "seal off the island!" Fortunately for the daddy duo, Gloria happened to find Lily.

While enjoying some time in the sun, Jay initially wants to relax and eat whatever he wanted. However, he is reminded that his father died in his early 60s due to being unhealthy. Suddenly realizing his own mortality, Jay begins working out — irritating Gloria, who simply wanted to relax on the trip. Of course, the moment eventually gives way to Jay opening up to Gloria about his fears, and the two decide to at least enjoy their vacation together.

Being the brainy and motivated child in a family isn't all it's cracked up to be. Alex understands that all too well. Being the independent and smart child that she is, she always feels pressure to be the best, since that what she believes everyone expects of her. She actually goes to see a therapist when she has a meltdown feeling overwhelmed. Meanwhile, the parents are attending an open house at the school. Claire visits each of Alex's advanced classes and gains a new appreciation for her daughter and the workload that she is saddled with.

Elsewhere, Phil and Jay are acting like kids in school again. They're supposed to be attending Luke and Manny's classes but skip and head to the teacher's lounge to watch football. Riding on a bit of a high after Jay complimented Phil being able to fix the TV in the lounge, Phil attempts to go bigger and sets up the projector in the gymnasium. Perhaps Phil should have quit while he was ahead — the projector breaks, and the two land themselves in the principal's office.

As the gym teacher, Cam prepares a presentation for the parents wants them to play dodgeball. The principal, however, tells Cam that is a no-go. But, when Cam sees that the parents aren't engaged, he breaks out the dodgeballs. Ever the firecracker, Gloria gets a change to let off a bit of steam during the match.

In typical "Modern Family" fashion, Cam and Mitch's wedding is an absolute disaster. Their original wedding venue, prepared by their friend Pepper (Nathan Lane), is threatened by a wildfire. As they attempt to continue the ceremony, their officiant and friend Sal (Elizabeth Banks) goes into labor. When Phil volunteers to step in, the crowd is told by firefighters that they must evacuate. After shifting to a back-up venue, the wedding is then put on hold by the couple who scheduled that venue for the day. Finally, as a last-ditch effort, the wedding is moved to Cam and Mitch's house which is far too small to accommodate all the guests. Some have to stand outside. The couple then start to believe that maybe the wedding isn't supposed to happen.

Jay, who has always shown some aversion to Mitch's sexual orientation, shows some real character growth as he exclaims that his son shouldn't be getting married in a house. Instead, he has the wedding moved to his country club and proclaims that he is proud to have Cam as a son-in-law. Finally, the wedding goes off without a hitch as both sets of parents walk their sons down the aisle.

As the title implies, this episode sees the Dunphy and Pritchett families go to school. Haley heads off to college, but not before Phil provides her with a book full of his cheeky advice titled "Phil's-osophy." Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria take a class on caring for a brand-new baby. While they obviously both have had children of their own, times certainly do change. Of course, the whole venture turns into a humorous scene of Jay and Gloria attempting to share their wisdom with the rest of the group. They leave the class early, much to Manny's disapproval.

Lily then heads to her first day of kindergarten. She gets into her first fight almost immediately, and Mitch and Cam come to her aid. They ultimately find themselves sitting before the principal over the incident. The young culprit, Connor, is also joined by his parents –- a lesbian couple. The two couples begin tossing accusations and stereotyping one another, and the principal suggests that they have a playdate for the kids to get to know each other. They listen to the principal's advice and the playdate doesn't really go well ... for the parents. The couples bicker and banter, much to our amusement. In the end, however, they do agree that they share the similarity of being fiercely defensive of their children.

Wrangling a big family together for a family picture can sometimes be daunting -– especially if there's plenty of drama causing friction between different family members from the day's events. Claire, a perfectionist who only wants the best photos of the whole family, finds this out the hard way.

Phil, Alex, Gloria, and Manny go to a Lakers game. During the event, Phil and Gloria appear on the kiss cam. Of course, they are not a couple and Phil tries to wave it off. However, the crowd isn't too pleased and they boo the couple. So, Gloria grabs Phil and puckers up for a big one. Meanwhile, Claire's frustrations are already beginning as she attempts to fix the broken stair in their home for the family pictures. She winds up making it worse. Alex tells Phil that Claire is angry. Of course, Phil believes she saw the kiss on television and is furious about it.

Mitchell has his own battles to fight, namely a pigeon that managed to enter his home. As Mitchell chases the bird around the house, much of the place winds up being destroyed. When Claire asks Mitchell if they can now have the photo shoot at his house, he declines since his home looks like the site of a massacre.

The family still gets dressed in matching white attire and prepares for an outdoor photo. Cam is angry with Mitchell about their house and Phil brings up the kiss, which starts drama. Then Jay slings mud after getting irritated over Claire's micromanagement. A mud fight ensues, but the picture is one that will be rife with memories.

It's Luke's birthday party. Claire and Phil can't seem to agree on the birthday festivities, so they combine their ideas for one wild bash. Of course, Phil is the life of the party, hiring an animal handler and bringing in a bounce house. Claire, on the other hand, is a bit of a wet blanket, choosing to set up a craft stand where kids can make sheaths for combs.

Meanwhile, Manny is attempting to woo a girl from school named Bianca (Kaitlyn Dever). His attempts at being a funny man crumble pretty fast, as he botches all of the jokes he attempts to tell her before he even gets to the punch line.

Cam debuts his clown character Fizbo in an effort to add to the life of the party. Mitchell has a hard time grasping Cam's fondness for "clown culture" and isn't shy about letting his partner know it's an embarrassment. However, when Cam steps up to a man bullying Mitchell at the gas station, Mitchell realizes that Cam's clown exterior is just one other side of the man he loves. Hilariously, Phil has a deep-seated fear of clowns, and stumbles his way through the party anxious at the site of Fizbo. He casually remarks that he has no idea where the fear came from, even though his mother always told him it's because he found a dead clown in the woods as a young boy.

As part of Phil's real estate gig, he sometimes gains access to some killer pads. That is one benefit his daughter, Haley, recognizes about his job. In this particular episode, Phil's client has decadent house with several modern amenities, including a hot tub. Haley decides to hang out at the house to have some time alone, though Phil's protégé in the business also happens to be at the home to set up for an open house. The person is none other than Andy (Adam DeVine), Haley's former love interest. The two always shared a connection, but never acted on it since Andy had a girlfriend he wished to propose to. While at the home, the two accidentally fall into the tub, dry off, and relax on the couch before hiding after thinking Phil was entering the house.

It turns out that Cam and Mitch arrived to also take advantage of the ritzy home. They turn on some music while making some cocktails. Suddenly, Phil does arrive, and walks to another room. Then Luke and his friends show up with a six-pack of beer. Phil then bursts into the room, wearing a VR headset and playing a game. Cam, Mitch, Luke, and his friends all freeze in place and remain quiet as Phil dances around them playing his virtual reality game. As they try to escape, Claire arrives in a Medieval get-up — thinking she was going to do sexy fantasy role-playing with Phil, not realizing he just wanted her to join him in his VR game instead. The intruders are discovered, leaving Phil to kick everyone out before running off with Claire for some intimacy.

Phil and Claire both have fictional characters they portray in an effort to spice up their romantic evenings. The debut of Phil's businessman Clive Bixby and Claire's simple housewife Julianna occurs in this episode. For Valentine's day, they "bump into each other" at a hotel bar, where they strike up a flirtation that will obviously lead them to a fun evening in a hotel room. At one point, Claire's Julianna excuses herself to go to the bathroom. She emerges in a long coat, telling her role-playing husband that she's entirely naked underneath. As the couple ride an escalator, Claire's coat gets stuck and she cannot move or remove her coat without revealing all to the world. Of course, Gloria later comes to the rescue providing her with a covering to walk away unscathed.

Meanwhile, Cam and Mitchell attempt to help Manny express his feelings to a girl he's admired from afar. Manny had written a poem for the girl, but another boy plagiarized his work and used it as his own landing the girl's affection. Mitchell stands up for Manny and reveals the deceit to the girl, but she realizes she still likes the other boy after he tells her he used Manny's words because he didn't know how to express those feelings. Someday, Manny. Your time will come.

It's Alex's high school graduation and the family is celebrating. Phil joins the family via skype on a mobile robot with the help of Andy. Haley and Andy share a strong connection that they ultimate avoid, because Andy has a girlfriend to whom he plans on proposing. However, he does feel a bit of confusion internally and asked Phil for advice — telling him that there was another girl, and he wasn't sure he should propose to Beth. Phil encourages him to move forward with the proposal if he has feelings for her. Then Phil has a conversation with Haley, and after Andy and Haley share a goodbye hug, Phil realizes that Haley is the other girl and that they love each other. But a technical malfunction stops Phil from busting the revelation of their love wide open.

In another bit of drama, Cam believes Mitchell is cheating on him after he sees Mitch acting weird. In reality, Mitch lost his job and is trying get Phil to cancel a deal they had to buy the apartment above them for guest housing. He's afraid to share the bad news with Cam. Eventually, however, Cam confronts Mitch and he tells Cam he's been going to the park every day and spending his days with an old man and his pet bird instead of going to work.

What will one do to appease a mother-in-law? Jay sets a new standard in that department. Jay and Gloria still haven't managed to pick a name for their newborn son. Leading up to the christening of the baby, Gloria's mother Pilar (Elizabeth Peña), and her sister Sonia (Stephanie Beatriz), visit. Pilar is adamant that Gloria and Jay give their son the Colombian family name of Fulgencio. Jay hates the name, and he also finds out that his mother-in-law greatly dislikes him. Ultimately, Jay agrees to calling their child Fulgencio Joseph Pritchett to appease his mother-in-law. However, he swears to Gloria that they will not use his first name but will simply call him Joe.

Phil is left with the kids, who all seem to have problems with different people. Alex has a classmate who is throwing the same party she wants to throw for her upcoming birthday party. Luke's friend told everyone that he called the teacher "mommy." Haley was hired to park cars for a lady but keeps running into her poorly-placed tree. Phil even has a bone to pick with a store owner who is blocking his real estate signs with balloons. When Phil sets out to show them that kindness gets them further than the more bullish approach their mother would take, he manages to make things worse. 

Phil then commissions Luke to take care of business while he heads to the christening of Gloria and Jay's baby to be recognized as a godfather. During the christening, Luke is seen terrorizing those who have wronged them, paying a hilarious homage to "The Godfather."

This episode follows the Dunphy children as they attempt to provide their parents breakfast in bed for their anniversary only to see the unthinkable -– their parents having sex. In the aftermath, the kids attempt to distance themselves from their parents as they try to make sense of what they saw. Luke is a bit young at this point and even explains that he isn't sure what he saw. The moment is especially traumatic for Claire, who experienced the same moment with her own mother and father as a child.

The children leave the house to discuss the next steps. Ultimately, the awkwardness of talking about sex with their parents is a topic to be avoided. They settle on a new idea for an anniversary gift, however. The children produce a lock for their parents door that should hopefully ease the trauma they had just suffered, knowing it shouldn't likely happen again.

"Connection Lost" is the best "Modern Family" episode for its originality, unique presentation, and smart humor. The entire episode takes place on FaceTime screens. Claire is attempting to reach out to Haley because the two recently had a fight. When she can't get a hold of Haley, she FaceTime's Phil, hoping he can tell her what Haley is up to. Phil thinks she is at a friend's house.

Upon realizing it's Mitchell's birthday, Claire calls her brother. After wishing him a happy birthday, she asks about Haley since she had babysat Lily recently. Cam and Mitchell's most recent interaction with Haley is when she borrowed a blue suit. Claire then sees on Facebook that Haley's status has been changed to "married." When Claire accesses her daughter's iCloud account, she tracks her phone to a wedding chapel in Las Vegas.

Like any mother might, Claire begins to panic, thinking Haley has gone off and gotten married. More evidence appears suggesting that Haley, perhaps, married her recent boyfriend Andy and that she is possibly pregnant. After Claire breaks down and calls Jay, he helps console her over the idea. After all, Claire did the same thing in her formative years, and she apologizes to her father for putting him through that. 

Hilariously, the episode ends with Haley finally calling Claire after having woke up ... in her own bed. She was in the house the whole time and there were logical explanations for every bit of evidence Claire uncovered.