Horrible Movies Jurassic Park Actors Hope You Forget About

Steven Spielberg's "Jurassic Park," based on author Michael Crichton's novel of the same name, set the box office on fire when it hit theaters in 1993, giving birth to one of the most successful franchises in modern day cinema. The adventurous action flick had all of the key elements of a blockbuster smash hit: groundbreaking special effects that still hold up 30 years later, a generational talent in the director's chair, and perhaps most notably, a slam-dunk cast.

After a pair of less-than-stellar sequels, the ginormous franchise got back on track when "Jurassic World" turned things around in 2015, again heavily leaning on the strength of a slew of fresh new faces, including Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard, to make audiences care about dinosaurs again. Much like the 1993 original, "Jurassic World" put together a top-notch cast that undeniably played a role in the film's $1.67 billion box office pull, the highest grossing entry in the "Jurassic" franchise to date.

While most of the stars of the series have enjoyed long and successful careers in Hollywood, they aren't without a few blemishes on their filmographies. Let's revisit a few duds that the stars of these mega popular movies have starred in throughout the years. Be warned: as the great Dr. Ian Malcom would say, these movies make one big pile of ... well, dino doodie.

You'd be hard pressed to find a more reputable actress in today's Tinseltown than Laura Dern. The daughter of acting legends Diane Ladd and Bruce Dern, the former child star was destined to make waves on the big screen. She has starred in more than 60 feature films, and was even nominated for two Academy Awards before finally taking home her first Oscar in 2020 for her poignant performance in "Marriage Story."

Dern has been appearing in movies since 1973, and throughout her decades-spanning career she's shone in some truly unforgettable roles, arguably none more popular than that of paleobotanist Ellie Sattler in "Jurassic Park." If Dr. Sattler is Dern's most memorable role, however, perhaps her most forgettable part came years later in 2010's undeniably lackluster "Little Fockers," the third and final installment in the "Meet the Parents" trilogy.

Despite reuniting Ben Stiller, Robert De Niro, and Owen Wilson, the trilogy-capper ended the once promising comedy series on a very low note. Most people probably don't even remember that this movie exists, let alone that Laura Dern actually plays a very small part in it as an elementary school headmistress named Prudence. Ironically enough, Dern must not have been exercising much prudence when she decided to sign on for this terribly unfunny comedy. If only Jinxy Cat had flushed this script down the toilet before it was too late.

Before he got ripped to play Star-Lord in 2014's "Guardians of the Galaxy," Chris Pratt wasn't exactly the guy that movie studios had on speed dial when they needed an action hero. Fast-forward a few years, however, and things have certainly changed. Pratt has rebranded himself from the lovably funny doofus to the lovably funny badass, becoming one of the most reliable leading men in all of La La Land.

In addition to his wildly popular portrayal of the Galaxy's favorite a-hole in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Pratt has also headlined another multimillion dollar franchise as velociraptor trainer Owen Grady in 2015's "Jurassic World." As Grady, the "Parks and Recreation" standout really got to showcase his effortless acting chops with both bold, unapologetic machismo and grounded everyman humility. Career-wise, it seems he's succeeded on every level.

Sadly, he has in fact been a part of a movie that failed on almost every level. "Movie 43," which was marketed as a star-studded racy comedy, is undoubtedly the worst film on Pratt's resume. With a lowly 4% score on Rotten Tomatoes, this jumbled mess of a movie took home three Razzies in 2014, including the Worst Picture award. While Pratt shouldn't shoulder much of the blame for the awful final product, you have to assume that he hopes "Movie 43" never comes up in interviews.

Let's be honest: Jeff Goldblum is the kind of performer who can take virtually any role and make it a fan favorite. His sprawling IMDb page, consisting of over 135 acting credits to date, is chock full of unforgettable movies and characters, including Seth Brundle in 1986's "The Fly," David Levinson in 1996's "Independence Day," and of course, Dr. Ian Malcolm in 1993's "Jurassic Park."

Goldblum's unique acting prowess is indubitable, but with such an expansive filmography, there's bound to be a few strikeouts to coincide with all the hits. Perhaps his most notable strikeout was that of 2015's "Mortdecai," in which Goldblum plays a shady art dealer, Milton Krampf. Arguably the worst Johnny Depp movie of all time, "Mortdecai" plays like a cheap "Austin Powers" knockoff. Even the talented core cast consisting of Depp, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Ewan McGregor couldn't save this action comedy from colossally flopping at the box office. Critics didn't like it either – USA Today's Brian Truitt described the film as "a whirlwind of horrible British accents," and that's putting it mildly when compared to some of the more scathing reviews.

Vincent D'Onofrio has a knack for playing really good bad guys. You might not have even recognized him as Edgar, the creepy unwilling host of a nefarious cockroach alien in 1997's "Men in Black," or as the bald crime boss, Kingpin, in Marvel's "Daredevil" and "Hawkeye." He also played the main antagonist Hoskins, the head of InGen's security force, in "Jurassic World." A self-proclaimed method actor (per Daily Actor), D'Onofrio has turned in some super believable performances over the years.

However, there have been a few less than believable performances, too. In 2017's "Rings," a sequel to 2002's "The Ring," D'Onofrio played a blind caretaker with a secret connection to the ghostly Samara. As Peter Sobczynski of RogerEbert.com put it, he seems to be playing the role "with the minimum amount of effort required to earn [his] paycheck." Not exactly the kind of criticism you'd expect to hear about an actor who once gained a whopping 70 pounds just to play Private Pyle in "Full Metal Jacket" (via Chicago Tribune). 

Still, D'Onofrio was hardly the main issue in "Rings," an incoherent film that's branded with an 8% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Its tagline – "First you watch it. Then you die." — would be an unintentionally accurate assessment of the flick if they only tacked on the words "of boredom" to the end of it. D'Onofrio is way better than this.

During a 2020 appearance on The Graham Norton Show, legendary actor Samuel L. Jackson proudly declared that he loves watching his own movies. Apparently, not only does he buy $1,000 worth of tickets for his new films when they first hit theaters, but he also frequently rewatches his older flicks when he's bored at home. "If I'm channel surfing and there's nothing else on, I'll go into the search engine and go 'Samuel L. Jackson...' I pick one and I watch it." While Jackson has been in too many iconic movies to even name, there's one film in particular that it's hard to imagine he would ever want to rewatch.

In 2004, Oscar-nominated screenwriter Philip Kaufman directed a movie called "Twisted," a mystery thriller that stars Ashley Judd as a police detective trying to catch a serial killer. Jackson played the police commissioner who — yep, you guessed it — is revealed to be the killer in the end. Despite the combined star power of Judd, Jackson, and Andy Garcia, critics found incredibly little to like about "Twisted," blasting it down to a 1% on Rotten Tomatoes. 

Ariana Richards was only 12 years old when she played Lex Murphy, the adolescent computer nerd hacker in "Jurassic Park," but she was apparently so good at displaying genuine terror, even director Steven Spielberg was impressed. As she told Den of Geek, "When we were filming the scene of the T-rex with the jeep, during the moments between scenes Steven came over to me once and said, 'Ariana, you reach such a deep level of fear and terror –- what do you draw from? Were you scared by a clown when you were three? Don't tell me, I don't want to know!'"

Perhaps one of the events that Richards drew fear from was reading critics' reviews of "Spaced Invaders," a movie she starred in three years before "Jurassic Park." The hammy sci-fi comedy followed a group of short, bumbling aliens who, after overhearing a radio broadcast of "War of the Worlds," invade Earth on Halloween night, only to be mistaken for trick-or-treaters in a small American town.

Although audiences didn't seem to hate "Spaced Invaders," critics tore it to pieces in their reviews. Roger Ebert bashed the film, writing, "One of the purposes of growing up and getting an education is to learn why movies like 'Spaced Invaders' are a waste of time." 

Here's a fun fact: Of all the actors in "Jurassic Park," only BD Wong returned to reprise his role, that of InGen's chief geneticist Dr. Henry Wu, in "Jurassic World." Although he was reportedly hesitant to slip back into Dr. Wu's shoes (per Yahoo! Entertainment), Wong once again found himself right smack dab in the middle of a dino disaster.

The "Jurassic" franchise is undoubtedly Wong's most popular work, but he's also excelled in other areas throughout the years, including successful TV series like "Gotham," "Mr. Robot," and "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit." He also voiced Shang in Disney's animated classic, "Mulan," arguably one of the best Disney movies of all time. However, it hasn't all been sunshine and critical roses for the former Broadway star. 

In 1998, Wong had the misfortune of starring in "The Substitute 2: School's Out," a straight-to-cable sequel with almost no connection to its 1996 crime thriller predecessor. Wong played one of the bad guys, but honestly, the lazy outing is so poorly put together that the good guys are pretty bad, too. The movie has a rare 0% Rotten Tomatoes score — not exactly the kind of grade you want on your acting report card.

For whatever reason, film adaptations of Dan Brown's crowd-pleasing Robert Langdon novels, like "The Da Vinci Code" and "Angels and Demons," are seemingly never well received by critics. Even with Ron Howard in the director's chair and Tom Hanks, one of the most beloved actors of all time, playing the lead, the mystery thrillers just flat out don't translate to the big screen. Hanks' third attempt at Langdon, 2016's "Inferno," was another example of an awful movie that was based on a good book, and as Collider's Matt Goldberg posits, hopefully the end of these boring films. "We certainly don't need more movies featuring a bland protagonist going on bad adventures."

"Inferno" starred Hanks and "Rogue One" breakout Felicity Jones as the two main characters, but it also had a solid supporting cast, including two guys who had just starred in "Jurassic World" the year before, Omar Sy and the late Irrfan Khan. Although both actors are extremely talented (Sy was nominated for a Golden Globe for his work on Netflix's "Lupin," and Khan accrued a slew of accolades for his work in both Hollywood and India), not even their acting abilities could save "Inferno" from going up in flames at the box office (per Vulture).

Sam Neill is no stranger to being in front of the camera. With nearly 150 acting credits, the New Zealand native has been performing in movies and TV shows since the early '70s. His most recognizable role is obviously that of Dr. Alan Grant from "Jurassic Park" and "Jurassic Park III," but he's also starred in a great deal of high quality works (you're really missing out if you still haven't seen him in Taika Waititi's hilariously touching "Hunt for the Wilderpeople"). "Irresistible," however, is not one of those works.

Despite a talented leading trio of Neill, Susan Sarandon and a young, pre-fame Emily Blunt, this 2006 dramatic thriller went straight to DVD. The premise was simple enough: Sarandon becomes suspicious that she's being stalked by Neill's new secretary, Blunt, and paranoia ensues. It's honestly quite similar to other popular movies like "The Hand That Rocks the Cradle" and "Sleeping with the Enemy," but lacking the, well, good aspects. 

"Irresistible" currently boasts a 20% critical score on Rotten Tomatoes, which could certainly be worse. However, what's arguably the grossest facet about the movie is the uncomfortable age gap between Sam Neill and Emily Blunt. Neill was born in 1947, and Blunt was born in 1983, making him roughly 36 years older. When you consider that Neill was nearly 40 years old when Blunt was just a toddler, it sure makes their intense kissing scene a little hard to stomach.

You ever watch a movie that's so over-the-top emotional that it seems as if the whole film was created with the sole purpose of making the audience cry? That's exactly what it feels like to watch 1995's "Three Wishes," a super sappy family drama starring Patrick Swayze, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, and "Jurassic Park" child star Joseph Mazzello.

The story follows a mother (Mastrantonio) who lets a drifter named Jack (Swayze) stay with her and her two sons after accidentally hitting him with her car. As you can probably predict, there's more to Jack than meets the eye, and he begins to form a special bond with the young boys, becoming the father figure that they were missing.

It's easy to criticize corny movies like this, but some people find enjoyment in clichéd feel-good films. This probably helps explain the 52% audience score that "Three Wishes" holds on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics, however, had different opinions. Roger Ebert wrote, "The movie lays it on so thick that even with the best will in the world, [he] couldn't go along on its slow and soppy ride." Sometimes a tearjerker succeeds in making critics cry for all the wrong reasons.

When "The 5th Wave" hit theaters in January of 2016, it's easy to imagine that Sony and Columbia Pictures were banking on a possible franchise. After all, the movie was based on the first novel in Rick Yancey's literary trilogy, so there's definitely plenty of source material to work with. However, after an onslaught of dismal reviews and a very disappointing box office pull, any future sequels seem to be unlikely at this point.

In the explosive sci-fi flick, Nick Robinson, who played an angsty teen amidst a dinosaur breakout in "Jurassic World," plays an angsty teen amidst an alien invasion. Co-starring with Chloë Grace Moretz, Ron Livingston, and Liev Schreiber, the "5th Wave" cast tried their darnedest to keep the ambitious action movie from imploding into a million pieces, but they were ultimately unsuccessful. While it's hardly the first YA novel movie adaptation to flop, you have to assume that Robinson wishes he would've just said "pass" when the casting director came calling.